Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I look better un-naked...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
