i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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