Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
