Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
