I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I love you.
Bad choice
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