There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize