blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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