FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
