You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
