Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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