D3 body, D1 cock
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
