my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
