It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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