i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
