I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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