so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
