Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
its not stalking. its research.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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