it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just high enough for therapy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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