Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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