her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
