is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize