Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
