ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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