My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
