he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize