I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
