I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
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votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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