Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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