i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
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You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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