ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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