Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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