She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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