Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
