i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
