she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
