But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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