Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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