He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
