Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
we're so committed to being not committed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize