I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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