I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
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Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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