My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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