ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
