i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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