i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
