great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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