She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
