Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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