Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
