New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
