i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
