dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
