Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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