question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
