Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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