I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
