Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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